Independence A Terran View
by Firewolfe
Summary: Amanda's view on freedom and independece


-1Independence Day - Terran Views

By: Lisa AKA Fire Star

July 2006

Disclaimers: Star Trek belongs to Gene Rodenberry and the corporations. I am just playing with his universe for a while with no intention of gaining profit other then my own amusement.

_Telepathy and Thoughts are in Italics_

Rating: PG- R

Archive: Selek if you want to others just ask.

Summary: This is almost a POV story but not quite. It explores Amanda's feelings about Independence Day and personal freedoms. Companion Piece to IDIC. A secondary Prequel.

POV Amanda: _The night is so warm and the building is so stuffy. I came here with my parents in hopes of seeing Sarek again. Odd how that Vulcan has become so vital to my peace of mind. I look around at the crowd all in a festive mood for this uniquely American holiday. I sip my iced tea and watch as many of my fellow compatriots work to get good and sloshed. Looking around I notice many different species had come to the President's party. Every fraction from Earth and the Federation are here including Vulcan. There he is Sarek. He is deep in discussion with Professor Jorgenson it looks like they are debating Federation policy again. Perhaps I can just slip away to get some air_.

"Amanda waits up please."

_I turn and there is Harold Rothschild coming toward me. So much for a quiet exist. Seeing no alternative, I face him. He is such a bore and so arrogantly superior in his attitudes. He is not really much to look at though I believe many humans might think he is attractive. At six foot, he is a respectable height for a human. He has pale blue eyes that seemed washed out and his skin is a bright red from to much sun. His build is to big and stocky thought there is some definition to it. Looking him over it is clear he will one day run to fat. His straw colored hair is in the latest fashion but he merely repulses me with his strong sent. Is that cologne? I paste a false smile on my face, as our families have been social acquaintances for years._

"Harold." I say acknowledging him coolly. "I was not aware that you would attend."

He smiled clearly taking this as an opening to bore me with his chatter.

"Well it was a last minute thing. I was not going to come until Uncle mentioned you were coming. Had I known sooner I would have asked you?"

_Taking a deep breath, I search for a polite response. _"I was uncertain if I would attend."

"Well I am glad you did. I was wondering.. I mean maybe we could take a sail latter tonight. Watch the fireworks from my skiff?"  
_  
My brow quirks up a habit I have developed rather recently. _"No, I think I will be leaving soon. I have an early morning at the Vulcan Consulate."

He laughed. "Amanda come on. It is a holiday weekend. Surly you do not intend to work? We broke free of dictators remember. Blow them off tell them you can not come in or better yet call in sick. I mean it is not as if you need the money."  
_  
I feel annoyed at this. As if my integrity could be placed at risk for mere amusement? Even If I loved sailing which I do I would never show such disrespect as to lie to Sarek. The idea of not keeping my word to him is impossible to comprehend. Granted he would never know but I would._

"I have duties that I have agreed to. Weather I need the funds is irrelevant to the commitment I have made."

"Come on Amanda they are only Vulcan's. Besides, we have a lot to catch up on. Mother wanted me to convince you to come to Kitty Port later this month for my birthday. You know the family loves you."

_I sighed and understood. Harold was turning 30 this year and his family wanted a suitable wife. A wife with the proper pedigree and sufficient wealth to not drain their coffers. I of course fit the bill nicely. Harold and I had once dated briefly when I was young and naïve. That was before I discovered he could not be faithful. I recalled that day. I found him with a local girl making love. We had just celebrated our 3rd month anniversary and I was seriously thinking of allowing him to make love to me. Lord I am glad I never did that. I found them and ran out. His explanation made it worse._

"Come on Amanda. It was just sex. She does not matter to me. I love you."

_I slapped him hard because I could not believe he could use someone so. I had ended it then and there. Yet over the years I had forgiven him and perhaps even burred the hurt. I reminded myself that he was still young himself and spoiled rotten by his family. I liked his mother and father they were good honest people and I let it go rather then lose their friendship. His mother Rose had encouraged me to find my own path and I was grateful for that.  
_I   
"Thank you Harold but I do not think I can. I have much work to do."

I turned away eager to leave him behind.

Harold grabbed Amanda "Look I let you go and stew now for 5 years. Is it not time we put it behind us? Come on Amanda she was nothing and you and I. Well we are a matched set. Our families like each other and we can be happy. "

I look at him in shock. "Harold at best we are friends. The past is gone. You made your choice."

"Amanda what do you care? It is clear you don't like sex. So why not let me have my fun on the side. I can be a good husband to you."

I laugh "Just because you do not interest me is no reason to think I do not want sex. I just have no desire to have it with you."

_That was a mistake as he grabs me and kisses me hard. I slam my knee up and he topples over. I knew he was in agony. I hoped it made him think twice before attacking anyone else._

"Get over yourself Harold. You should have married Darma. She was in love with you. You hurt her badly. I am never going to marry you. It takes more the money and position to make a good husband. I want mine to be faithful and loyal. I want him for a life mate."

He gasped as I walked away. "Life mate? What the hell is that?"

_I smile as It occurs to me_. "Something no human can ever be to me." I whisper softly 

"You want that damn Vulcan what is his name…Sarek?" he looked repulsed.

_I stand tall and glare back. Suddenly free of expectations and fear. I had to get away. Harold to his credit wisely limped away._

"Yes." _I turn and run out to the ocean's edge. I run down the beach and stop near the cliffs my body is burning on fire. Harold is forgotten as I realize how deeply I need and want Sarek. Damn it I am on fire. With little thought I stripe down and dive into the cool waves. Relief is slow to come but I cool off some. My mind and heart screaming as I realize I will never truly be free again. My mind and body have decided I want and need Sarek. I am not human and can no longer pretend I will ever accept one as a mate. I was never meant to be with a human I feel that now deep in my soul. I need something someone stronger and more able to accept who and what I am.  
I look up and there he is standing still and commanding _- _**Sarek. I almost cry out in relief**_.

"Amanda Attend." he commands.

_I freeze unable to move for a moment as he comes toward me. Fight or flight ? I may want and need but I am afraid. Yet there is a deeper emotion the need to surrender. I cry out as he gathers me to him and it is to late to do anything but give in to my need and his. I know that it is not fear of him but fear of myself. I fear I will be lost to him. I fear he will reject me once he knows that I am not a simple human woman. Logically I know there was no real choice for me.  
_  
Moments pass:

_As we lay together I realize I am captured and his forever. Yet there is a freedom too. A freedom in belonging to the one who makes my heart sing. In his arms I am free to be myself. I can be wild or tame and it will not matter. Sarek will accept my occasional need to be dominating but he will relish my submission even more. All that I am is his and he will keep it safe and protected. Perhaps today I am free of human expectations and humanities limits. Yes today I am truly independent even as I surrender to My Vulcan Lord. Oddly, it is the best freedom there is._ _I have found this freedom on the 4th of July Independence Day. I wonder briefly if Sarek can understand the significance? Does it matter as long as I am free to love him? No I am free here in his arms and at peace the rest will work out. Besides Freedom is relative and am I less free because I choose to be his? He holds me close and claims he will never let me go. I smile as I wonder if he knows how I am counting on that. My freedom is here with him as I release my human inhibitions and cling to the only peace, love, sanity I have ever found.  
_  
**The End**


End file.
